from 2-16-09
"I had mass the other day at my cousin's house in celebration for our Nuestra Señora De Los Remedios. It was quite eye opening. It was Valentine's Day so the theme was about love. The priest's gospel was about love and he probed our family and friends on what the definition of love was. My mom even spoke out as well did other few relatives and friends but all in all they were all explanations for what love 'does'. its funny because it was obvious by everyone's reaction we were all thinking of explanations blinded from the realization that it wasn't really a definition. A word passed around so easily we don't even know the true definition. My cousin Thes went for the obvious easy answer stating, God is Love. Which you can say is true but then again, it's a pretty vague answer. When you say God is love you still want to ask yourself, well so then what is love?? The priest then told us yes, after I tell you what love is, you may try to follow it but it is extremely hard. For to 'love' defined by Jesus is to live like Jesus did. That's when it clicked for me. St. Augustine defined love as wishing good for everything, everyone, everyday. God wishes good for everything, everyone, & everyday. An example he brought up was a love within the family. A mother loves her kids. she has 20 bucks, she gives 5 to one child and 15 to the other, not because she loves the other child more but because she knows what the other child needs. When two people love each other, there's a difference between saying, "i just love him, i lost my heart in him" as opposed to "i love him because he's funny, he's beautiful, he's intelligent" When you say that, then love becomes conditional. The mother and her kids is unconditional. haha I hope this translation of yesterdays talk is making sense. Yes, love is unconditional. But many of us, honestly, it's hard to love unconditionally. We love our brother because he's our brother, we love our friends because they are our friends. Do we love them because they are who they are? Blood does run thicker than water right? To just love. ..is what i think my New Year's resolution will be. took me about a month and a half to figure it out, lol. Set all the bullshit aside and just love. In these trying times i know it'll be rough, but it's worth the shot. =)"
So it's been about 3 months now. How has my New Year's Resolution been going u may ask? umm....NOT GOOD. lol. It's hard dealing with dumb asss bitches. Sometimes I just don't have the time of day. A lot has happened since i wrote that blog. A WHOLE lot like seeing one of your closest friends in an extremely diffffferent light. I've never had to visit anyone in jail. BUT DAMN. For those that read this. (Chloe lol) don't go spreadin the news like Frank Sinatra. It's been pretty tough. Had another episode with my dad, but this time he decided to pull a gun on me. An empty gun. . I've attempted to 'just love' but like the priest said, it SURE IS probably one of the hardest things to do in life. I'm taking out my garbage. I normally don't share my garbage especially to friends because I know we all have our own garbage to take out from time to time with our own plates to empty out. But this is my personal page SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. LOL. I IZ washin my hiiyeaaannndsss!!!
Still "Fuck You" After All These Years
12 years ago